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Aunt Pythia’s Advice

Readers!! Dear friends! Aunt Pythia is overwhelmed with happiness. She is currently sitting in the middle of the woods scribbling away inefficiently on an android tablet, doing her best to deliver a knock-out advice column for your reading pleasure. It’s absolutely nuts that she can accomplish this fear considering her environment, but that’s just how much she loves you.

image

Definitely not as hot as Manhattan.

Please enjoy being rustic with Aunt Pythia!

Oh, and before you leave,

ask Aunt Pythia any question at all at the bottom of the page!

By the way, if you don’t know what the hell Aunt Pythia is talking about, go here for past advice columns and here for an explanation of the name Pythia.

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Dear Aunt Pythia,

Do you dream of composing the perfect Aunt Pythia question, complete with awesome sign-off? I guess you don’t, but maybe you have the same issue with Dan Savage?

That’s my problem. I just can’t stop obsessing and find myself so jealous of the problems of others. Why can’t I be “an intellectual property lawyer, who is launching a big data business with a former colleague/lover, who has just given up lesbianism and decided to become a man, and who can’t quite decide on how to deal with her residual feelings of attraction for said business partner”?

Or, what about wanting to be able to write “I’m completing my junior year majoring in Clown and, while I would love to go to graduate school, just feel I don’t measure up against my classmates who are so ahead they’re already working on Advanced Buffoonery  and researching theoretical foundations integrating hijinks, pratfalls, and farce. I feel like a Paul Reubens amidst all these future Lucys. Can I make it?”

With awesome problems like those, how can my mundane life make it onto the hallowed pixels of an AP page? I’m afraid I’m going to start creating a mini-crisis in my life, just to have some entertaining material for you. Help!

Lousy Sign-off Doesn’t Trump Really Interesting Person

Dear LSDTRIP,

I just can’t believe I figured out how to copy and paste on a tablet. Very excited over here.

Great sign off by the way. I get the impression it’s accurate as well.

Here’s the thing. You don’t need complicated problems. Asking how to feel happy or even non suicidal in the midst of everyday life is already hard and interesting. And I would prefer genuine kindness over being entertained any day.

As for the question of whether I dream of asking question, no. I have always wanted to give advice more than ask it. Probably a personality defect but there it is.

Aunt Pythia

Aunt Pythia,

I have a math question. I am writing a series of short stories, based the Many-worlds theory of Quantum Mechanics. The stories postulate (in contrast to current theory, science fiction, you know) that there is a way to pass information between universes. Naturally in an infinite number of universes, some, an infinite number, use this technology, like painting, photography, writing, mosaics, film, TV, and the Internet, for porn.

My questions is, if the resolution of every quantum event creates at least two new universes, what is the cardinality of that infinity? It seems like aleph-null but it’s been a long time since my last legitimate use of infinities.

No cats were harmed in the forming of this question.

Slim Odds And Possible

Dear SOAP,

Is this the day for weird questions? I mean don’t you need to tell me what a quantum event is and how often to expect a quantum event? Does it happen every time someone passes porn between universes? Even if that is the case I would need to know there are a positive number of horny people in existence.

Unless I am being dumb, I don’t have sufficient information here.

Aunt Pythia

——

Aunt Pythia,

I think I’m in love with my best friend. She told me about a year ago that she wasn’t interested in romantic relationships because her ex-boyfriend hurt her / she hurt him / they had a bad breakup. I haven’t told her my feelings, because of a variety of reasons, including I wanted to tell her in person (we live on opposite coasts of the US), I don’t want to hurt her (she is going through some serious stuff right now, and I don’t want to add to that), I have literally zero romantic experience and I don’t want to fuck things up with her (I kind of feel like I’m going to fuck up my first few relationships), and last but not least I’m bad at talking. We’re going to college together next fall. I want to tell her at some point in the future, because of some kind of honesty idea and also it seems unfair to try and get rid of these feelings without asking her. What do you think I should do?

Having Equanimous Love Problem

Dear HELP,

First of all thanks for the perfect sign off and straight forward letter. Although not sure you are equanimous.

Next, believe me, you are in love. No need to say you think maybe you are. Babe, you got it bad.

Third, you want to tell her because love demands it of us. It has nothing to do with a sense of honesty or fairness. Love has its own logic, or illogic, and we are slaves to it. That’s OK.

Seeing as you asked, I say go for it. Make it happen my friend. Which is to say: tell her you love her in a dramatic and romantic and absolutely unmistakable way. Be that guy who really spills out his guts and lays it on the table.

You know what there isn’t enough of nowadays? I’ll tell you what. Gut spilling. We are all so careful not to offend or appear vulnerable we forget that none of that really matters. What really matters is living life fully and taking chances and going out on a limb and being the person you always wanted to be.

And here’s the thing about it. It’s not really a risk. If she says no you will be crushed, to be sure, but in fact you will be crushed if you say nothing. It will just take longer and feel less courageous. Also she’s your best friend so I imagine we can trust her not to be cruel.

Tell me how it goes, and good luck!

Aunty P

P.s. nobody has experience at your age.
P.P.s. if you’re worried about talking then write a letter of a song or a poem.
P.P.P.s. ignore her bad ex. Everyone gets over their bad exes eventually. Plus it’s been a year. Don’t ignore her current problems though. Just tell her how much you want to be there for her.

——

Aunt Pythia,

We clearly have a long way to go still for getting more girls and women into STEM careers, but there has been a lot of progress as well. For example, my department has a pretty M/F balanced group of faculty and grad students. I also notice there are various programs and events for women and minorities in mathematics, which appear to build some lasting professional relationships and you know, like,  friendships.

My gripe is that many of these programs are *exclusively* intended for women, leaving minority men, especially black men, out in the cold while universities are patting themselves on the back for publicly fulfilling their diversity initiatives. I don’t think there’s a great conspiracy behind this, just that there aren’t very man black men in STEM fields, particularly math, to let everyone know- Hey! We’re here too!!

Comparatively, women, black women, uh literally any other group you could reasonably get higher education statistics on, is doing better than we are. Most of these programs aren’t helping us, and I know of none specifically designed for us. You probably know the statistics better than I do, but according to this article [http://chronicle.com/article/Black-Man-in-the-Lab/149565/] from 1992-2012 there were only 203 black men that got math PhDs. Wait, in 20 FUCKING YEARS?? Please be a typo. One black guy per year in the ENTIRE COUNTRY has been getting a math PhD for two decades…? JESUS CHRIST ON A STICK, THAT’S SOME FUCKERY, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. No really, I have to be making some kind of error somewhere.

Of course, these are just averages; the actual count probably is trending upward and probably increasingly so from 2012-2015. JUST NO, VOICE OF STEADINESS AND REASON, TODAY YOU CAN STFU, YOUR SERVICES ARE NOT NEEDED. Why? For one, these numbers include graduates of historically black colleges and universities, which are disproportionately represented. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but if a sizeable chunk of the 203 PhDs are concentrated in these schools, then of course the rest have fewer than expected PhDs produced, and the baseline was already at WTF.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but as black guy interested in math, I don’t want to go to the black school I want to go to the math school; no offense to Howard, but I’m aiming for Harvard. The article then says, for all STEM degrees combined, there was an upward trend from black men making up 1% of all PhDs awarded in ’92 to 2% in ’12. If you have no soul, you can convince people of improvement by saying it doubled, but it’s still really, really fucked. So (finally) my question is: Given the obvious need, why isn’t there a program similar to Edge for men in math from underrepresented groups?

P.S. Who lets the mathematicians of the African diaspora website remain on the internet? It’s hella embarrassing.

Randomblackdude

Dear Randomblackdude,

I’m with you. Those are some outrageously low numbers. And I don’t know what resources there are out there but clearly not enough. Maybe my readers will fill us in. Also agreed about people who deliberately mislead with statistics having no soul.

Aunt Pythia

——

People, people! Aunt Pythia loves you so much. And she knows that you love her. She feels the love. She really really does.

Well, here’s your chance to spread your Aunt Pythia love to the world! Please ask her a question. She will take it seriously and answer it if she can.

Click here for a form or just do it now:

Categories: Uncategorized

What kind of happiness should we strive for?

Some of you may have stumbled across the New York Times’ recent Room For Debate, addressing the pursuit of happiness. Short and insufficient summary:

  1. William Davies: Once you focus on optimizing happiness, you will be asking for trouble. At the individual level, optimizing for happiness will be used against us at work. At a higher level, it will be a form of social control.
  2. Bina Agarwal: We need both objective (GDP, health) indicators and subjective (happiness, satisfaction polls) to measure the progress of nations.
  3. Barbara Ehrenreich: Happiness scores can be easily tampered with, and rarely gets at the concept of accomplishment of goals.
  4. Sonja Lyubomirsky: Don’t measure happiness too much, but don’t forget to measure happiness, because it’s good for you.

I found the conversation frustrating. I’ve been thinking about happiness a bit lately, and it strikes me that the above conversation is entirely muddled because of its lack of precision. There are different kinds of happiness, and only the third debater, Barbara Ehrenreich, really touches on that.

So, at the very least, there’s hedonic pleasure, and then there’s eudaimonic pleasure, which basically correspond to short-term versus long-term. Hedonic joy comes when you see a naked body or you eat doritos. It can also happen when you see your child laugh or enjoy the smell of garlic. In other words, it doesn’t have to be bad for you, but it is a form of short-term sensation.

Eudaimonic joy happens when you feel the pleasure of some kind of longer-term accomplishment. Aristotle invented this concept, deeming happiness vulgar, and stressing that not all desires are worth pursuing as, even though some of them may yield pleasure, they would not produce wellness. We experience eudaimonic joy when we clean our house, when we gain understanding of something that was elusive, or when we spend “quality time” with our friends and loved ones. It’s anything that gives us pleasure and contributes to our goals.

Now that we are equipped with these terms, the above debate is easier to parse. And of course the debaters weren’t given very much space for their arguments, so I’m not suggesting they don’t know this stuff, but it’s still helpful for us readers.

Barbara Ehrenreich’s point is that hedonic pleasure, being fleeting, is also easy to manipulate; at the same time, when we are asked whether we’re happy, we often interpret it to be some combination of those two kinds of happiness, with possibly random weights assigned to each. Right after I get off a roller coaster I’m more likely to be thinking hedonic pleasure, right after I listen to a poetry reading, or take a nap, maybe I’ll be more interested in the eudaimonic kind.

William Davies, on the other hand, is mostly discussing hedonic happiness, because in terms of brain chemicals, we can measure the stimulation of the pleasure centers of our brains, and we can manipulate people based on those measurements. Davies imagines a world where our corporate masters have a perfect view into our brains and have figured out how to stimulate our pleasure centers so that we are maximally “productive.” This approach is deliberately unrelated to our eudaimonic pleasure, because it’s not focused on our long-term goals, but rather the goals of our employer.

Bina Agarwal seems to want to understand eudaimonic happiness but is making do with the random mix, and Sonja Lyubomirsky seems to confuse “trying too hard to be happy” with focusing on hedonic happiness.

We could get better data and better debates around “happiness as a thing to strive for or not” if we distinguished between short-term happiness and long-term happiness. It’s not that hard to do, and it obviously matters.

Categories: Uncategorized

What is Sidewalks Labs’ business model?

You might have heard about Sidewalk Labs, which is backed by Google and plans to repurpose phone booths all over New York City as wifi hubs. They are also planning to install large advertising screens on the sides of the phone booths to display dynamic advertising to passersby. A few comments and questions.

  • When you use that wifi, they can track what you do.
  • Even if you don’t use it, if you walk by with a wifi-enabled device (smart phone), the phone booth will sense your device and tag you.
  • Presumably this is not charity. They will expect to make ad revenue with their screens.
  • Best guess: they will tailor the advertisements depending on who is walking by and what they’re doing.
  • The overall negotiation then is that we are willing to exchange free wifi for having our experience in a public space tracked by a private company. I’m not sure we are all thinking that’s a good deal.
  • They plan to do it in other cities, using street lamps and bus shelters as well.
  • Prepare to enter into a realm of existence one step closer to Blade Runner.

Categories: Uncategorized

Advertisement or… negotiation?

Last Sunday I had the pleasure of meeting Anna Bernasek and Dan Mongan, who came to the Alt Banking group meeting to tell us about their book All You Can Pay: How Companies Use Our Data To Empty Our Wallets.

While they were discussing their book, the topic of online advertisement naturally came up. Dan and Anna made an interesting point in that discussion which I’ve been chewing on ever since. Namely, they provocatively suggested that we should never use the word “advertising” to describe the complicated and sophisticated process of tailored and targeted offers to an individual internet browser. Instead, we should call it a “negotiation.” Let me explain their reasoning.

They started by introducing the concept of a “consumer surplus.” This is the difference between what a given consumer would be willing to pay for a product versus what the price actually is for that product. If the difference is positive, the consumer buys the product and has a theoretical bit of “extra” money in their wallet, which corresponds to the happy fact that the price was lower than their maximum price. If the difference is negative, the consumer doesn’t buy the product because it’s too expensive for them.

Does that make sense? For me it only kind of makes sense. I mean, it makes quite a bit of sense for certain situations, like when I’m buying something I don’t actually need, out of funds I consider limited but discretionary. So, for example, after my soggy experience a couple of weeks ago I threw away my faulty tent, so I’m looking at buying a new tent, but then again I’m not going camping any time soon, so the price has to be right.

Here’s an important example where it doesn’t make as much sense. If I’m poor and I need a car to go to work, and I know I have to borrow money to buy the car, then the amount of the loan is less important than the fact that I can get a loan in the first place. The “consumer surplus” is less obvious when it’s a matter of debt rather than cash, and when it’s a desperately needed purchase rather than discretionary.

Anyhoo, let’s imagine consumer surplus to be a thing that people consider useful. The point Is, big data companies are getting better and better and determining or at least approximating what a given consumer’s surplus is, and making offers accordingly.

So, if you’re on a platform where there are advertisements, the algorithms behind those offers might infer that you have a certain amount of money to spend on a car or hotel, and might offer you certain models of cars with or without leather seats, or hotels in certain neighborhoods priced in a certain range, to squeeze out your consumer surplus. Yes, there might be cheaper versions of these things that you’d be happy with, and that would save you money, but the algorithm has determined your spending power, which is all they care about.

Thus, instead of an advertisement, which sounds like something we imagine many many people see, this is a personalized negotiation, just to you personally, and crucially, you don’t see what other people are being offered. So it’s a one-sided negotiation with enormous information asymmetries.

Note this is the opposite of what we’d expect in the “free market,” where all the offers are on the table and you get to choose the one with the lowest price. Partly we ignore that vision because many of the platforms we now spend time on are more or less monopolistic in nature, and partly it’s because of the nature of the auction system of advertising: the “ad” for a more expensive hotel room, that’s still in your price range, will win an auction because it is worth more to the seller.

I think it’s a pretty good distinction, although I’m not sure “online sale negotiations” is a catchy enough phrase to replace “online ads” any time soon.

Categories: Uncategorized

When does an interview become free consulting?

I recently had a weird and negative experience applying for a job.

I went for standard the day-long interview, and answered a bunch of questions, and met a bunch of people, maybe 9. In one of the interviews, they asked me how I would approach some of the data questions they were working on, and I gave them some spur-of-the-moment advice. In one case I exactly outlined the approach they were actually taking. All this is fine, and to be expected.  In fact I felt like the interview had gone well, and I had liked and been liked by most of the people I’d met.

Then, when I was about to leave for the day, they told me they wanted to send me “homework.” This is not something they had mentioned to me beforehand, but I was exhausted from the long day and I responded in a vague way, something like, “um, OK, well, I’ll take a look.”

When I eventually got it, the homework was very open-ended and very very hard. In fact I was guessing that it was probably an NP-complete problem, although I didn’t look it up (although I’m sure I could have, which is also weird). Moreover, it was directly relevant to the company’s business.

I felt like it was a fair question for them to have me work on if I had been hired, but it seemed too much to ask for me to work on it before then. Moreover, I was (and still am!) working very hard on my book, and I’d already given them a full day of my time. It seemed like they wanted me to give them free consulting in addition to applying for a job. I decided to write back to them and tell them I was very busy, and that I’d rather not do this homework “unless it was a dealbreaker.”

Here’s what happened next. First, the person who had sent me the homework told me it wasn’t a dealbreaker, and that I’d hear back soon. Then, nothing happened. Nothing at all. I didn’t hear from them for weeks, so I figured that was all the news I needed to know.

I finally wrote to a friend of mine who worked there just to say, hey, no hard feelings, I hope you’re well. By then I had totally given up on the job, but he was curious as to why. After telling him the story, the next day I got an email from his boss’s boss explaining that he had been waiting for me to go ahead and do the homework, and that he was disappointed I hadn’t been willing to. So it had been a dealbreaker after all.

So my question to you kind folks is this: when does an interview, and homework afterwards, become free consulting? What are the standards? Do you think I should have done the homework? Do you think it was unreasonable for them to ask of me? Or do you think it was OK for them to ask me but not OK for them to mislead me about whether it was a requirement?

Categories: Uncategorized

Data mining children’s data

I was interviewed for an article entitled No Child Left Un-Mined? Student Privacy At Risk In The Age Of Big Data by journalist Farai Chideya, who writes for The Intercept along with Glenn Greenwald and other impressive people.

Here’s the article, I think it came out pretty well and I’d be grateful for your thoughts.

Categories: Uncategorized

Aunt Pythia’s advice: the camgirls edition

Readers! Dear readers!

Today is such a wonderful day for lovers everywhere. We are celebrating love in all its forms. As part of the that celebration, Aunt Pythia has decided to knit up something appropriate:

Actually, she just loves rainbows. Always has.

Actually, she just loves rainbows. Always has. She finished this recently though.

Many apologies for missing last week’s column! Aunt Pythia was busy getting stung by mosquitos and dripped on by a soggy tent at the Clearwater Festival. Next time she’s definitely taking the Aunt Pythia tour bus:

Most likely waterproof.

Most likely waterproof.

Are you all ready?! Let’s do this thing! We’ve got some doozies this week, folks.

Oh, and before you leave,

ask Aunt Pythia any question at all at the bottom of the page!

By the way, if you don’t know what the hell Aunt Pythia is talking about, go here for past advice columns and here for an explanation of the name Pythia.

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Dear Aunt Pythia,

My kid is a math whiz, and we will soon be doing college tours. I would love to find a program that teaches him to use quantitative skills in an applied, team environment. Any suggestions?

Mom Asking Math Advice

Dear MAMA,

First, who wants him to be applied? Who wants him to work as part of a team? Is this something you want, or he wants? I hesitate to give advice to parents about their child’s goals when their child is embarking on adulthood. And, being a mom myself, I completely understand that you want them to go to a college that suits them, but at the same time, let’s make sure they have agency as well.

OK, now I will assume that yes, your son wants very much to find such a place. In that case, I would suggest at least looking into Worcester Polytechnic Institute. I have a friend named Suzanne Weekes who is a professor there and also directs the Center for Industrial Mathematics and Statistics. Whenever talk to her about her job she mentions various team projects on applied subjects that she has her students working on. They sound great, and fascinating, and it makes me want to go back in time and go to WPI.

And even if that isn’t the right place for your son, take a look at the kinds of things that the CIMS does. And good luck to your son!

Aunt Pythia

——

Dear Aunt Pythia,

After reading the article you referred to in your answer to PORN NOT SCORN, I am somewhat suspicious of the first item. It seems self-serving for big-name porn actresses to recommend sticking with the big labels such as those that they themselves work for. My own feelings about porn mirror yours: the vast majority of it turns me off even when I don’t think about how it was made. And I share your concern that sexuality as depicted in porn, as opposed to desire and pleasure, would drive expectations of inexperienced lovers. I have a question about a porn-related phenomenon you seem to have either missed or chosen not to comment on in your answer.

There is a huge and fast-growing “camgirl” segment of the industry, using the internet and webcams for real-time conversations and interaction between sex workers and their customers. The article you referred to actually mentions “camgirls” briefly, and some of the points about subscription websites are similar. There’s an older article in the New York Times taking an in-depth view at this phenomenon. There is also a response from the camgirl interviewed for that article and more recently an indie documentary interviewed lots of them.

As someone who strongly dislikes porn, I have been surprised that interacting with camgirls has become a significant part of my sex life. My wife and I both value how it alleviates stress in our relationship, caused by a discrepancy between how frequently she and I want sex, while avoiding some of the concerns we both have about open relationships. The interaction with these camgirls isn’t just about sex and money, though. Over time, I have gotten to know a few of them very well indeed. I could call it an extreme form of the advice about porn to “stick with performers you know”, but that misses how well they get to know me in return.

I am curious how you feel about the potential for developing a biased view of female sexuality resulting from that kind of interaction. The women choosing this work are not at all a representative sample of women, and there are strong incentives for them to try to please their customers. But they are real women, and in my experience many of them do really seem to love their jobs and to take seriously that they have an educational role in helping their customers explore female sexuality.

Curious About Masturbating Females’ Autoerotic Needs

Dear CAMFAN,

Wow, lots of thoughts, and I don’t know where to start.

As for the camgirl industry, I read the first two things, but I don’t have time for a movie, so I’m going to have a pretty narrow perspective. That said, it’s interesting, and obviously complex. I also think the articles do a good job of pushing back against the assumptions that anyone doing stuff like this must be unhappy and desperate. Obviously not true.

As for your letter, I’ll take it on in no particular order.

First, it seems a tad arbitrary to me that you and your wife are comfortable with you getting to know camgirls but are uncomfortable with an open relationship. If I read your letter correctly, it’s the intimacy between you and the camgirls that makes it feel to you like it’s not yucky, but that intimacy is the very thing I’d expect your wife to be threatened by. Is it because you feel like, due to the payer-payee nature of the relationship, this could never become serious? Do you actually think it’s true? From my experience, actual physical sex is not the threat to marriage, intimacy and feelings are.

Next, let’s talk about the act of being a camgirl. From your sign-off, I’m interpreting most of these acts as being more or less shows where girls masturbate live on camera for a single man or a crowd of men. My reaction to that set-up is, wow, what if you don’t feel like masturbating? You still need to put on a show to earn the money. It’s your job. So right away I imagine that sometimes, even in the ideal situation where a camgirl likes her job, she’s not always authentically horny, because that would be just very unlikely. That makes me unattracted to the whole business as far as the female sexuality that it exhibits.

Finally, to your question of whether it creates a biased view of female sexuality, I think I’ve kind of answered that. Imagine if a camgirl got on camera and said,

Hey guys I’m actually not horny right now, and even though I often really enjoy being an exhibitionist, and it really turns me on, tonight I’m just not in the mood. OK if we just make popcorn and watch a movie?

That’s not going to happen, because what you’re seeing isn’t reality, it’s a performance. These women don’t want to ruin their brands by admitting they aren’t horny, and why would they. It’s not a criticism of camgirls, it’s a statement of fact. But the other side of that coin is, if the men (and I assume, some women) who watch camgirls think they are interacting with the camgirls in an authentic way, they will of course have very biased views of what women and their sexualities are actually like.

Having said all that, let’s assume that you understand that not only is there a selection bias for the kinds of girls that do cam, but also that even a girl who does cam is sometimes just performing and isn’t actually genuinely turned on. That doesn’t mean you can’t learn something about what women actually like sexually. That of course will depend on how much a given camgirl explains to her audience, and of course such information might be quite biased as well, depending on what brings in more tips. After all, it’s a business!

Aunt Pythia

——

Dear Aunt Pythia,

Just curious about your thoughts on the Columbia sexual assault story involving the student carrying around the mattress (I’m not involved in it, I’m not even at Columbia). If you were Columbia (or Lee Bollinger, in particular), what would you do? Would you allow her to carry the mattress around, or at graduation? Do you think it is creating a hostile environment, especially for the accused guy? Your thoughts on the guy’s lawsuit?

And what about Kirsten Gillibrand bringing the mattress lady to the state of the union address…do you think that was a mistake on Kirsten’s part?

Lee (not really)

Dear Lee,

I haven’t followed the story closely enough to have a very nuanced opinion, but I’ll say a few related things.

  1. It’s absolutely true that campuses, at least historically, have tried to put the hush-hush on sexual assault. I know this from being at Harvard in the late 1990’s. The problem is that there’s an obvious conflict of interest for campuses. They want to preserve their image, and seen that way it seems dumb that they are in control of such issues at all.
  2. The reason they are in control is multi-faceted but includes the fact that towns often don’t want to pay for policing of campuses, and because campuses often don’t think town do a good enough job so they take over. Let’s focus on the second point, although the first point is sometimes important.
  3. So, instead of focusing on how college students are treated after they are sexually assaulted, and how the accused is treated, I want to raise the issue of how we deal with rape and sexual assault as a society. What are the standards of proof and evidence for sexual assault and rape for the police? Why are so few rapes reported? How do we spot sexual assault? How do we protect children? How do we make this a priority for the nation? RIght now the general statistics are terrible.
  4. I guess another way of saying that is when the police are good at this outside of college campuses, then we won’t need to rely on college administrators to do this. We’ve got a long way to go.

Aunt Pythia

——

Dear Aunt Pythia,

I’ll be attending a math conference this summer in Utah. According to a blurb they sent out, it says:

“Participants who request residence hall accommodations will be housed in dormitories on the University of Utah campus. The rooms are suite-style rooms where a bedroom and a bathroom will be shared. Each person is reserving one bed for one person, and will be paired with roommates within his or her gender.”

I feel this is so old-fashioned. Why do roommates have to be of the same gender? I think everyone should have their own room and have some privacy. A part of me also wants to stick up for transgendered people and make a point that there are not just two distinct genders, but that there is a continuum. What should transgendered people register as? I am biologically male, but have feminine traits both emotionally and physically (although the plumbing is male) (and btw I’m attracted to females) and much rather prefer hanging around women than men although I can’t figure out whether it’s because I’m attracted to women or because I can relate better to them on an emotional level. Since gender is a social construct, I want to register as a woman. If anyone asks or objects, I’ll say I’m confused about my gender, consider my brain to be feminine, and I am transgendered. This is going to be super awkward, but that will stir up controversy and discussion. What do you think of this?

And what about all these conferences or clubs for women (like the Harvard Women in Computer Science)? I love women, and think of myself as a woman, but am biologically unquestionably male. Are transgendered people allowed to go to these conferences/events if they self-identify as feminine? If I’m a male and show up, what are they going to do? Arrest me? Check my plumbing and then disqualify me? And if I claim my brain is feminine (which I actually kind of believe) how are they going to check that?

My main point is that for administrative purposes people introduce categories like race and gender, as if these are well-defined categories, but they are not (this idea I think is pretty well known).

(Algebro) Geometric Isomers

Dear GI,

Hey, great questions! I’ll take them in order.

First, I think you totally should tell them that you identify as a woman and want to share a room with a woman, even though biologically speaking you’re male. I know that when I was attending math conferences I would have preferred to share a suite with you than with some random person: you sound interesting! And yes, the math community should be shaken up a bit, it’s old-fashioned for sure.

Second, about the women’s groups. I think it depends. For example, Barnard College recently announced it would accept transgender women. That’s cool!

On the other hand, a given STEM group for women might – at times – be discussing the exact issues that you wouldn’t relate to directly, since you present as male. Such as being told you got into grad school because you’re a girl and standards are lower for girls, to name one. That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be able to relate to such issues at all, nor does it imply that such groups wouldn’t want you, but I think you should understand that it’s a tricky issue, because they want a community that understands such issues and has a safe place to discuss it and create strategies.

Anyhoo, the world is changing quickly, and these issues are being discussed quite deeply right now, and I’m looking forward to all of us sorting through them. And I’m very much hoping that you will be one person who helps drag the math community into this new era. Good luck!

Aunt Pythia

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People, people! Aunt Pythia loves you so much. And she knows that you love her. She feels the love. She really really does.

Well, here’s your chance to spread your Aunt Pythia love to the world! Please ask her a question. She will take it seriously and answer it if she can.

Click here for a form or just do it now:

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