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Aunt Pythia’s advice

January 12, 2013

It’s time for another possibly final installment of Aunt Pythia’s advice; if you don’t know what you’re in for, go here for past advice columns and here for an explanation of the name Pythia.

And most importantly, please submit your question at the bottom of this column, I need questions! In fact I’m pretty much going to answer all my remaining questions today, just to show you how much I need questions. So this will be the last installment of Aunt Pythia unless I get new questions.

From last time, I asked about the etiquette of ignoring Elsevier referee requests from the perspective of an editor:

Aunt Pythia,

If an editor of an Elsevier journal asks you to referee a paper, wouldn’t it be the norm to decline the request instead of leaving it unanswered, or does Gowers’s revolution includes that anyone who has not joined for one reason or another should be shunned and considered a pariah?

Trapped Editor

The answers were pretty clear: etiquette demands we say why we’re not doing it. If you haven’t got an actual refusal, you’re dealing with a lazy-ass, not a political activist.


Dear Aunt Pythia,

Every time I say I admire how Lionel Messi plays for Barcelona and Argentina, my husband says it is a crush. According to my husband, women cannot admire men without them mixing up some lust or crush or impure love. What do you say?


Dear 11/11,

I agree with your husband, but at the same time I don’t see any problem whatsoever with having a crush on Lionel Messi, he’s hot:



In general I project onto others what I have experienced internally, so I would always assume a crush when it comes to a strapping young male athlete, yes. I may be wrong, but even if you insist I am, I will suspect I’m right. But what does it matter really?

I hope that helps,

Aunt Pythia


Dear Aunt Pythia,

Dear Aunt Pythia, How much do you tip on to go orders?

Outrageous in Oakland

Dear Outrageous,

What?! I don’t tip on to-go orders at all. If I’m standing there an picking up my own food from a restaurant I kind of don’t think they need extra money for all the service they’re providing me.

If you mean on delivery, then I tip at a rounded-up 10% rate to the nearest dollar, with a $5 minimum. One time I tipped less than this and a belligerent deliverer refused to leave. It was a learning experience.



Dear Aunt Pythia,

Dear Aunt Pythia, as an alpha female are you able to fall in love?

Happy Brownian

Dear Happy,

What a bizarre question. But I’m going to answer it anyway.

Yes, I definitely fall in love, but since you asked I’m going to throw in that I don’t expect love to be magical, to find a soul mate, or to have my partner complete me in some weird way. I find that kind of romantic notion utterly weird and unattractive and it’s never made sense to me why people would even desire that loss of self. I’m tempted to think this is related to my being alpha, but I’m not sure.

For me true love means finding someone you still want to hang out with and are still surprised by 17 years after you met them, even though they never learned to play bridge.



Dear Aunt Pythia,

Do you know you give a new meaning to the acronym MILF?


Dear DrunkGuy,

Now that you’ve sobered up, can you be more specific as to the “new meaning” part? For now I’ll assume you mean “Momma I’d like to Fund (for her open model initiative)”.

Aunt Pythia

Again, please ask questions, I’m out.

Note: it is okay to recycle old Dan Savage questions: I have no ethics here.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. J.C.
    January 12, 2013 at 12:58 pm

    Why Lionel Messi and not your hot neighbor?

    It’s something strange. I never ever had a crush on a movie star or the poster of a famous singer in the wall of my teenager room. All my crushes were always people I personally knew and lived near. Does it mean anything?


  2. novembertwentyeleven
    January 13, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    Lionel Messi because I admire his playing, chipping and dribbling the ball, his joy in playing, and dedication to the game. I also like that he is boring! – he says nothing controversial, and seems to spend his time training and playing and then going home to his wife and child.

    If I admire somebody and my husband says it’s a crush, doesn’t that mean that when my husband says he admires a female (or male) athlete, he has a crush on her (and him)? Hmmm…it should work both ways shouldn’t it?


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