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Star Wars Christmas Special

December 22, 2015

Look, I don’t smoke pot. I’m allergic to it or something, it’s not a principle or anything. But sometimes I wish I did, because sometimes I find an activity that’s so perfect for the state of being high that I am deeply jealous of the people who can achieve it.

That happened yesterday, when my teenagers introduced me to the Star Wars Christmas Special, which is a truly extraordinary feature length movie, and is really a perfect stoner flick.

I’m really not giving anything away by telling you that there’s a lot of scenes involving Chewbacca’s family, hoping he makes it home in time for “Life Day.” Each of those scenes is inexplicably long and devoid of subtitles.

In fact, it’s really not a stretch to say that every scene in the entire movie is inexplicably long. But that’s perfect for high folks, who are known to drive at 15 miles an hour on the highway and worry they’re speeding.

For those of you who are not high: I suggest you skip this one. I watched it because I’m a huge Star Wars nerd, but even I couldn’t remember why while I was doing it, except that I like hanging out with teenagers rolling on the rug in laughter because it’s so bad it’s good.

According to my kids, George Lucas himself said about this film that if he “had enough time, he’d track down every copy of this film and destroy it.” You have been warned.

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. December 22, 2015 at 8:34 am

    Maybe Disney has wiped it as being part of the EU but until recently this was canon. All of it.

    I haven’t watched it since it came out (nor plan to) but on the drug topic, I recall people claiming that Leia is obviously coked up for much of the Special.

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  2. mrgeocool
    December 22, 2015 at 9:45 am

    I remember watching this the first time it aired, which apparently was also the last time it aired.

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  3. Whomever
    December 22, 2015 at 9:53 am

    Surprised it took this long to hear about this! There are many people who regard it as the worst thing ever shown on broadcast television. Oh, and ob xkcd: https://xkcd.com/653/

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  4. December 22, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Tried pot several times, from different sources, in my youth. Didn’t do anything for me. C’est la vie. Alcohol is my drug of convenience.

    I must be the only person who has never seen a Star Wars movie.

    To those celebrating: Merry Christmas.

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  5. December 22, 2015 at 12:57 pm

    For those of you who are allergic to weed (and I think I may also be among them), the RiffTrax commentary does a spectacular job of taking the edge off.

    http://www.rifftrax.com/the-star-wars-holiday-special

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  6. December 23, 2015 at 3:55 am

    The Disney IC machine have gotten involved and blocked the video to which you linked. For those who want a partial substitute, I found this: Creationist Cat vs Star Wars Special. Even though it is only 20 minutes and is seasoned with extra snarky comments, I found it difficult to watch to the end.
    Mathbabe wasn’t kidding when she wrote: “For those of you who are not high: I suggest you skip this one.”

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  7. allenknutson
    December 25, 2015 at 7:52 pm

    OMFG. They put eyeliner on Han Solo. How could anyone have thought this was a good idea?

    It’s actually worse on Luke.

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