mathbabe

So I have been getting some feedback lately on how I always assume everyone has a crush  on me. People know this is my typical assumption because I say things like, “oh yeah that guy totally has a crush on me.” And when I say “feedback,” what I mean is people joyfully accusing me of lying, or maybe just outraged by my preposterous claims, usually in a baffled and friendly manner. Just a few comments about this.

First of all, I also have a crush on everyone else. Just as often as I say “that lady has a crush on me,” I am known to say, “Oh my god I have a huge crush on her.” It’s more fun that way!

Second of all, there are all sorts of great consequences of thinking someone has a crush on you. To name a few:

1. It’s not a sexual thing at all, it’s more like a willingness to think the other person is super awesome. I have crush on all sorts of people, men and women, etc. etc.. No categories left uncrushed except meanies.
2. When you act like someone has a crush on you, they are more likely to develop a crush on you. This is perhaps the most important point and should be first, but I wanted to get the first point out of the way. It’s what I call a positive feedback loop.
3. It makes you feel great to be around someone if they have a crush on you, or even if you just think they do.
4. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Answer: that you’re wrong, and they don’t have a crush on you, but then they’ll just walk away thinking that you were weirdly happy to see them, which is not so bad, and may in fact make them crush out on you. See what I mean?
5. It’s a nice world to live in where a majority of the people you run into have a crush on you. Try it and see for yourself!