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Crossposted on Naked Capitalism.

Being a quantitative, experiment-minded person, I’ve decided to go about helping Yves Smith raise funds for Naked Capitalism using the scientific approach.

After a bit of research on what makes people haul their asses off the couch to write checks, I stumbled upon this blogpost, from nonprofitquarterly.org, which explains that I should appeal to readers’ emotions rather than reason. From the post:

The essential difference between emotion and reason is that emotion leads to action, while reason leads to conclusions.

Let’s face it, regular readers of Naked Capitalism have come to enough conclusions to last a life time, and that’s why they come back for more! But now it’s time for action!

According to them, the leading emotions I should appeal to are as follows:

anger, fear, greed, guilt, flattery, exclusivity, and salvation.

This is a model. The model is that, if I appeal to the above emotions, you guys will write checks. Actually the barrier to entry is even lower, because it’s all done electronically through Paypal. So you can’t even use the excuse that you’ve run out of checks or have lost your pen in the cushions of your sofa.

Here’s the experiment. This time I’ll do my best to appeal to the above emotions. Next time, so a year from now, I’ll instead write a well-reasoned, well-articulated explanation of how reasonable it would be for you to donate some funds towards the continuation of Naked Capitalism.

I’ll do my best to give them both my best shot so as to keep the experiment unbiased, but note I’m choosing this method first.

Anger

This one is kind of too easy. How many time have you gotten extremely pissed off at yet another example of the regulators giving a pass at outright criminal behavior in the financial industry? And where do you go to join in a united chorus of vitriol? Who’s got your back on this, people? That’s right, Yves does.

Fear

Have you guys wondered what the consequences of fighting back for your rights are when you’re foreclosed on and feeling all along fighting against a big bank? Yves has got your back here too, and she helps explain your rights, she helps inspire you to fight, and she gives voice to the voiceless.

Greed

You know what’s amazing about NC? It’s free consulting. Yves has an amazing background and could be charging the very big bucks for this research, but instead she’s giving it away free. That’s like free money.

Guilt

And you know what else? The New York Times charges you for their news, and it’s not even high quality, it has no depth, and they don’t dare touch anything that might harm their comfortable liberal existence. Pussies. Oh wait, maybe that goes into the “anger” section.

Back to guilt: how much money do you regularly spend on crappy stuff that doesn’t actually improve your life and doesn’t inform and inspire you?

Flattery

You know what’s super sexy? You, giving a bit of your money to NC in thanks and appreciation. Hot.

Exclusivity

Not everyone can do this, you know. Only people who are invited even know about this. Which to say, anyone reading this right now, so you. You!

Salvation

Be honest. How much work did you do in the financial sector before you saw the light? Maybe you’re even still working in that cesspool! Maybe you’re even feeling sorry for yourself because your bonus is gonna be shit again this year. Well, it’s time for a wee reality check and some serious paying of the piper. Where  by “the piper” I of course refer to Yves Smith of Naked Capitalism.

I believe there’s a way to give to the “Tip Jar” on the top right-hand corner of this page. It might even be filled out for you! Please feel free to add “0”‘s to that number on the right, before clicking the “donate” button. I know it will make you feel better to atone.