This month’s Sky Mall: a sneak peek
I know I’m not the only person who loves Sky Mall magazine for those moments when you realize that you’re not allowed to use your electronic devices, that you have nothing at all physical to read, and that the plane won’t be airborne for 30 minutes due to runway congestion.
To tell you the truth it’s been a while since I’ve moseyed up to lean on it for psychological support so I was a bit hesitant- I didn’t know what to expect. Forgive my lack of faith.
Bottomline: Sky Mall has never disappointed me, which is more than I can say for most celebrated cultural icons. I want to share just a few of the highlights of this issue, and I hope you appreciate using up my precious 30 minutes of free in-air wifi (update: clear your cookies for another half hour) to do so:
- The Fleece Poncho With A Pillow (actual name) (see picture above). Best product description ever: The Fleece Poncho With A Pillow is an all-in-one fleece poncho-style blanket with a pillow attached.
- The Spongester (picture below). From the description: Made from the same steel as an industrial sink with labeled slots for your “good sponge” (utensils & dishes) and “evil sponge” (sink, counter, cat dish). Until now I (naively) didn’t realize that sponges had morals. I feel so… foolish.
- Touchless Sensor Seat (with video!!) (picture below): For only $159.99 you can get an automatic sensor that lifts and lowers the toilet seat for you. It may seem like this price is a bit steep but think about it some more: it sure beats a divorce attorney.
mathbabe 
I’m also a big fan of Sky Mall, mostly for its apparently unironic surrealism. My favorite item they ever tried to foist on a captive audience is the inflatable burglar. The idea is to inflate a large, shady-looking character and position him outside of your suburban house, in the bushes, say, near a window. Now any real-life burglar who comes along will see this and think to himself, “That house is already taken. I’ll move on.” If that doesn’t work, you can always buy Sky Mall’s fake TV, which flickers and emits the blue glow of a real TV. You place it just inside your window when you’re out of town, preferably the same window the inflatable burglar is casing. The poor guy gets bored and likes to watch CSI.
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I love it!
My favorite item from my last in-flight perusal was the “Disco Magic Showerhead” with LEDs that cycle though different colors; it allows you to “create a spa-like environment in the comfort of your own shower.” (My shower is already a disco/spa, thank you very much.) I was also sorely tempted by a cup holder that hangs between the poles of the pull-out handle on a rolling suitcase. And who can forget the glorious panoply of luxury pet accoutrements—ceramic fountains, heated beds, etc. Joy of joys.
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The automatic lid is old news in the Japanese toilet industry. For decades, they’ve had warmed seats, remotely adjustable nozzles for rinsing and drying, odor removal devices, and music to cover various noises. If you’re just dying to try, but can’t make it to Japan, this page may help: http://www.totousa.com/Washlet/TryaWashlet.aspx
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